I recently married a Hindu man who was married before in a civil cermony to a Hindu woman. They were married legally, but not in a Hindu ceremony. They have two children together, both married, the girl to a Muslim and the boy to a Hindu.

My new husband was already divorced when I met him 10 years ago. So I was not the cause of the marriage breakup.

The ex-wife is still a part of his extended family, because of the children. My problem is, when I go to family functions the son is often quite rude to me, and the ex-wife is also very unfriendly.

It seems that the ex (although everyone knows that she treated my husband badly) is definitely a part of the family whereas I feel like an outsider.

I had hoped that our Hindu wedding ceremony would have made me more accepted by the family. But they are very lukewarm towards me.

I have to attend a family puja next week where the ex will be helping out and offering bhog to the guests after wards. My husband and I will be part of the kirtan group.

Last time, I refused to take food from this woman because of her hostility towards me.

How should I handle this?

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Last time, I refused to take food from this woman because of her hosility towards me.

How should I handle this?

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This time, eat more than the usual quota to piss her off. Seriously, did you ever consider the possibilty that your husband might be 'using' children as an excuse to get close to her. Some men want the best of both worlds. Better for you to tell your husband not to see the ex or the children again. Problem solved. You dont go see them and dont let them come see you or your husband. Then there is no problem, eh? But you need courage to do that, not worry about family and all that.

I wish it were as simple as that. My husband has no interest in his ex. But he is very close with his 9 brothers and sisters. So when we go to family functions, she is often there.

As for the children, I used to bend over backwards to try to get them to like me, but I have given up. Beyond being polite when I see them, I do not invite them to our house any more.